You ugly. No love G and them horror pics you should remove that,
Bc if Jil Valentine anyone, that bitch is only looking for something to shoot at.
^cool. wording cud've been a bit better maybe, to make the wp work both ways. concept is nice
Your a nerd. Talkin crazy's absurd, when you in the ring with a heavyweight.
So if you Dimensioning anything.. it's the weight of my fist through your fuckin face.
^well, u were onto smth here, but this needed a little more development as a concept
I'm a war chief. I got more beef so I'll just start greeding..
..And if I'm servin quick slices, that means your neck'll leak out the food your eating.
^again, this was definitely a cool idea/visual and could've been a great line if developed a bit more
I'm throwing haymakers. This lame faker can't exchange wit us.
The way eye buckle your chest'll make seatbelts look dangerous.
^okay
I got that pump gripped. This dumb bitch'll get told.
So when I lash.. bullets'll go through yours and out the back of your skull.
^no, this is played
Your fuckin trash, it's true. I'll cruise just to retire this buster.
So when we battle on fair grounds, I'll twist ur spine around like a ferris wheel and roll you into a dumpster.
^punchline was too long. also don't rly see where u were going w/ this. if i'm missing some sorta connection, mb
vs.
protection is useless when a nina goes thru ur vest
losin breath as my 9 Military Heart out after i pin it to his chest
^tear he? tear e? doesnt rly work perfectly since his name isnt e or smth like that, but okay
Knuck talk shit in the mag. so both'll have tops missing
dropkick em. then put Spaz'n Head in a box after it stops twitching
^aite cool
gotta laser beam tracer synched to infrared, rook
if u cross my Scope Around will exit before u turn ur head & look
^syllables don't match up for the rhyme. linw was cool tho
dude a loudmouth dickhead til a roundhouse hit 'um
then watch this retarded kid Eye Drop like he had down syndrome
^dont see the eye drop/retard connection
keep talkin trash cuz my gun release punches back
all that YAPPIN gonna be followed by a kick, like when chun li attacks
^uh okay
then guts start fallin below ur moms lumbar column
so when u hear a click clack under the body it's not car problems
^okayyy
well, eye had some cool ideas for sure. some were developed into punches and those hit. but overall, i think he cud be much better if his lines were a little more streamlined, and developed, and focused more on the concept w/ everything relating only to that and nothing else. jil was more polished and felt more consistent cuz of that. that's why i think he takes this. props to both
v/jilly
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