[Mr. J]

I must be too tired, I didn't really catch the flow of this piece
I can see how you worked out the verse and it is a decent switch up
the unusual is quite a tool in the right hands, and you handle your own most of the time
the verse was enjoyable upon a second and third reading to understand how you were doing this.
the internals worked fine to make the rhyme work itself out
maybe it's just me that felt kind of funny reading this..
I feel like I'd need to be high and drunk to fully comprehend the work here
otherwise, I feel when stepping out the norm, you shouldn't go too far
play the fence a bit, either way keep dropping man