[Wise Wiggles]

"I once saw a mentally challenged kid take a shit on the floor of a Subway (the sandwich shop, not a train).

His mother was at the counter ordering their sandwiches and the kid is just spinning in circles looking up at the ceiling when he stops and goes "uh-ohhhhh."

He takes down his pants all the way to the ankles, squats, and just lets fly a wretched load of ass candy right there on the floor. His mother pays for their food, turns towards the soda fountain to fill their drinks up, and actually just calmly steps over the pile of shit to get their drinks.

She takes her son's hand and they walk out. She never once acknowledges the fact that her human son just took a shit on the floor of a restaurant full of people.

All the customers are enraptured by what we've just witnessed and nobody is sure what to do. It's dead silent as we all kind of look around at each other, then to the heap of festering shit, then to the employees behind the counter. Finally one young kid working there comes out from behind the counter with a mop bucket and a wet floor sign.

One brave customer soldiers on and bites into a Baked Lays chip, the crack of which shatters the cavernous silence like a whip breaking the sound barrier."