This was a bit better than the last piece I just read
your use of rhymes is sacrificed for vocab use..
some of it seems out of place, the rest makes enough sense
a few lines seemed like some throwbacks too
but the way you carry yourself makes up for a majority of flaws
it's weird, but it's different, I don't know how long this took
but if you took the time to write something longer it would be nice
I threw myself off just to say that..so do it...do it...do it..
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