View Single Post
Old 05-15-2015, 12:55 PM   #2
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
Mr. J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 59349682
Mr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant future
Default

The first verse was a hard read, it felt awkward
moving forward..the second verse is raw, G!
at that point I felt that you did work proper..
the flow became more fluent, and less tongue & cheek
you seemed to catch onto that 'timeless' feel
which made it more readable, I enjoyed your company
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
Mr. J is offline   Reply With Quote