[Ghost1]

Man.

Yo.


TODAY FUCKIN SUCKED.

So last nite....I'm getting WRECKED cuz I am cringe at the thought of foreplay with this stupid anime chick....she tastes like she just sucked the Marlboro man's dick off and he jizzed lung cancer into her mouth. An yes I kno I said I cut her off deadman....but I didnt. So....there's that. ANYWAYS. She comes over. I rail her into whiskey oblivion. Luckily she arrived before my would be soon whiskey dick. Instead she got that champion cock. Told her to gimme her cigs after an leave. .....she said somethin....idk...i was in the bathroom shitting w the door open cuz fuck her...nahmean? I'm like CLOSE THE DOOR ON UR WAY OUT I'M NOT PAYING TO COOL DOWN THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. Like my parents used to scream at me.....when I was still poor. CUZ they were poor. An I'm poor still. So anyways. I go into work 2 hours late. CUZ why not? I'm still drunk. I sit down. Phone rings. Wtf? I panic. I'm already sweating cuz it's like 85 degrees out and my pores are clogged with Jack daniels. I look around to see if anybody heard my phone SCREAMING at me. No one saw. Phew. I let it go to voice mail. It rings again....I pick it up this time....like I said....I'm still pretty on at this point.....HELLO!? CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESSAGE@?@? The woman on the other end of the phone was confused by this......she says....um? But....and before she even has the opportunity to explain that I picked up the phone...and should take her call...I blurt out....THANKS I'M OUT OF THE OFFICE INDEFINITELY an hang up. That may come back on me. No way to tell for sure tho. So now the room is spinning. My manager calls a team mtg....I'm like. Jesus why? I try to hit the bathroom first before entering the belly if the beast. I get in there an big Mike is in there recreating the battle of little big horn. Just upsettingly awful...complete and utter massacre. At this point I've lost control of my bodily functions an I just projectile yak all over the bathroom floor. For a moment I think....well...that's more like it....I even smiled....then I walk towards the paper towel dispenser to wipe my mouth off an leave big Mike to this puke parade while I slide into my mtg unscathed! Yea well....not today. I slip in the puke.....badly....my front leg lifts up....imagine guile flash kick...SONIC PUKE. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck fuck bros. I land all in it.....its on my back and my side an arm. So I take my dress shirt off an put it in the sink....then ring out the puke an roll it into a ball....of course the whole floor is in this god forsaken meeting. So....I'm now in a puke stained white tee.....I'm walk into the mtg an first thing I just sit down in the back.....then this loud ass black bitch Nicole is like...WAT IS THAT SMELL OH MY GAWD. Bitch shut ur fat ass the fuck up. Stinky black bitch u stink like shit everyday an I don't make any announcements. So the whole room looks back at me. I'm sweating. Covered in puke. Bags under my eyes 2010 punchline. People lookin at me like I'm some sort of barbarian. WUT U FUCKING COCKSUCKERS DO WE HAVE AN ISSUE HERE@??!? the sup just glares at me so...i....say....im taking a sick day. Big Mike puked on me in the bathroom. Then I slink out of the office. I'm sure everything will be fine.


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