[Soulstice]

deadman - I think the character was afflicted with some sort of vision of a dying friend or relative. Writing a character sketch like this to capture a unique emotion requires anecdotal description (see all the verses about women in the OM section), which you usually hit on. Here it seemed like a lot of cookie-cutter deadman-isms. It made it seem less-human and more melodrama than connecting to the reader with a sincere emotion that an audience can relate to.

NYC - I liked this. The character development was motivated but not fully. So his wife dies and turns evil - believable, but relies on further assumptions from the audience. I liked the imagery, it was top-notch, with some fantastical description adding to the atmosphere (falling for days, etc).

Vote - nyc

I think his rhyming was better and his characters were fleshed out better. It kind of even connected better with the reader in a metaphorical type of way.

sorry for the kind of lame vote, just focusing on the explanation rather than indepth critque