[Split Eight]

Night feels saintly, divine. And when the vigor is felt
I take up the suicide mission meant to figure me out

that was a sexy fuckin rhyme, Julian



Life imitates art - I've mastered the art of society

that was cool.


overall I thought it was well-written. The overall composition was distinctly you, in terms of the authorial persona you've fostered on this site. One complaint I'd lodge (loge?) against your writing is that you're so very sparingly personal with the reader. I suppose it's just another characteristic of writers in general, for the writer's tone/ mood can really be extracted from any bit of writing. But I really don't mean that you fail to build a viewpoint in which to exhibit your verses, more that it's a weirdly transparent process at times. You let the reader see how you are working to build the framework for your world and your themes, the technical skill is on display but the allure is gone. It's like the magician is presenting his tricks rather than performing them

all the technical details were very good