Quote:
Originally Posted by Bagsworth Bentley
These are quality
Me next
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I was waiting for you, you're the 5th Teletubby "Hairy"
I'd get your attention posing as chubby low self-esteem having house wife with mediocre dental standing.
Miranda, half black half Venezuelan. I'd hit you up on one of the popular dating sites...cause I know you're a member, after tracing your overbearing dominance back to the complex and deeply imbedded feelings of inferiority you have.
With this known, I'd hit you up under the impression that my husband is always at work and has very boring sex practices.
I'd be slow about it though...I'd give you three months before I tell you that I've always wanted to be pissed on. Of course this would come after luring you into a false sense of dominance. After random emailing suggesting that I'm weak and afraid of my husband finding out that I'm talking to a younger stronger man. I tell you we can't talk on phone because I'm afraid he'll take his aggression out on me because you're too big and strong for him.
....but I can meet you somewhere because you're a real man.
You agree to meet up 'cause you're fucking sick. And need to be shot.
I tell you to meet me at a park, and to dress up like a pirate with a cardboard gun. cause I've always had the desire to be humiliated by a fat pirate before he made me walk down his plank. ;)
You're soooo down.
You arrive before I do.
At least you think you did.
I text you to wait for me, cause I'm finishing up putting on my water proof eyeliner. I'm waiting in the bushes though.
As I'm waiting, I'm keeping my eye on netcees, waiting for you to post about being on the cusp of a new horrible exploit.
While waiting for that I notice you're gonna wanna take some stress off your knees, so as you take a load off on a bench.
I crawl around behind you, put the gun up to your tail bone
Pop pop pop pop!
You fall off the bench, rolling around like
"Àrrrrgh! Arrrgh!"
I'm just laying there, watching you bleeding out of your ass with no emotion or empathy.
With your last dying seconds your eyes scramble around your orbitals looking for some sort of visual relief, that's when you see me, lying on my side.
Your eyes widen
POP!
"You should've buried the booty...faggot"