[Just Write]

this is just a fucking fantastic battle. to be honest I dont even want to vote on this one. both stories were absolutely flawless. "Perfection In A Message", definitely a high caliber battle.


IamBent,

Damn that, that was an intense read my friend. i was literally at the edge of my seat reading it. for you to be able to use that many internal rhymes and the message still comes across as buttery smooth AND coherent takes some serious skill. you my man are legit, there were only a few parts I didnt enjoy and I didnt "not" enjoy them that much, just a couple hiccups for me.

some of my fav lines

Bright as the wax moon, her laugh swooned, swooped, a white crane,
Her blithe name the sprite rabbit I chased to make my life mate-
My Alice,… I- the blood, She – the chalice… Her eyes, a dove, no malice..
A family to establish, in our extravagant palace…Now I babble, unbalanced…
Grief the empty sleeve unsheathing death’s talons,… and with a high slice..
The wick blinks with night twice… “The Light Has Gone Out Of My Life”..


As a taste of favor to my sore, thin – lungs wrung from asthma wheezes,
Many hymns sung from asking Jesus, “Please, Master heal this
Son!, like Paul’s kerchiefs slung in Past Ephesus”..Wracked with diseases,
I sleep slumped in a chair, - but once I’m aware, its back to being hyperactive
Catching bugs in glasses since Father bought an otter seal and hacked it!


After Harvard, where I carved up beasts and theses alike,/
Doc said “put your heart first, cease seeking the strife”/,
but my strenuous life, part and parcel of Twain’s “Roughing It”/,
was, until my Lark sung, far-flung and unsubstantive/
She was my Sutter’s Gold, a wonder to behold in blessed splendor/
I know how Truman’s soul glowed in Nevada’s tense adventures/
So I took to tennis, riding, rowing, hiking, all aerobics/


Always read and dreamt about it.. Westward Ho!... Amazing.
I wonder if the tales I’ve traipsed will match the trails I’m blazing…

For “Mittie” and my lovely Alice, now Departed, ever felt
Sincerely, Son and Husband, T. Roosevelt.


Poh,
man you are a very good story teller and your flow is impeccable. I read through it effortlessly twice. intense story man. you piss a bitch off like that or what? lol. anyways year man i wish you would have used a bit more of an advanced vocabulary as I thought this was pretty basic in that sense. other than that this was definitely in my top 5 this week, and thats out of some amazing writers too.


Cruel, but calm - a useless mom that hustled through her qualms
and through her job. She uses cops to protect her from stupid palms
that would slap her. She has attackers that she's fooled and robbed.
Knowing the streets is her focus in reach to continually DO nonstop.

A hooker with issues - but strong - fierce and not looking for tissues.
Self employed and with a padded bra that's pushing two pistols.
Kathy was gorgeous and always dressed whorish so her game was perfected.



That pun was made and intended - but she wasn't for sleeping with strangers -
She only fucked the police like NWA... when Easy E was a banger.
Kathy's a danger for those trying to cheat on their lovers
and be undercover, otherwise a good guy might easily fuck her.
See, she was touched first by a guy that married her mother.
The next day, when she woke up, he was buried six under.
A psychotic flash created a plot that stabbed him to pieces
and fed his rabbit sized penis to their dog - who laughs as he eats it.
That happened at thirteen; and now she's unhappy at thirty
and likely to kill any guys getting thrills while her flash is occurring.
Not lacking in mercy when committing those savage sentiments;
She's actually intimate with this process that's masked in innocence.


Finally one comes - her man awaits and she's ready for action.
Already wet from her practice of castrating that dickhead to a casket;
She nestles her assets and positions her breasts to firmly sit on her chest.
So as she lifts up her dress and walks a step, no resistance is left.
This hapless guy has a wife and drives her Hyundai to buy ass.
It shows in the decorative plates and pink and white colored dash;
beside the fact he hasn't bothered in removing his ring.
So Kathy's thirsty to have him squirting; reversing the usual swing.


this was a very hard decision, i really enjoyed both stories for different reasons. im going to have to go with who i thought had a more polished piece though and thats Bent great job fellaz