Zenland –Thoroughly enjoyed the rhymes, layout, and message. It’s nice to have some kind of happy conclusion from an otherwise sad tale. That would really be hard to go through.
Am seriously impressed by the fluid feel of those multiples. Fuhreal.
Favorite lines..
Time and again we try as men to fight the cycle and win...
But we can't, and thats what makes life precious,
Count your time in seconds when you enjoy your prized possessions
Wow.
Just Write – “some cursed god and some cursed satan” – that was an extremely powerful line.
Just saying. Anyhoo, you set the tone very well here. Dissipated landscapes, natural disasters, people being taken off life support so others could live.. the decision hospital workers had to make there.. bleeding, screaming, shreaking. YAHBUDDY. Came out really good in the end. I can’t say I noticed any area you could've improved upon here.
/v – zenland. I was going to say.. tie. But when I thought about it, well.. when I read what the topics were.. I feel like zen nailed humanity right on the fucking noggin. I feel like the first stanza included a whole lotta human. but just for the record - that's the only reason i was able to make a decision at all.
|