[Adonis]

Editing now. In the future Certain. You know my email, just let me know what you need and I'm there, it goes straight to my phone/office

Zen - short verse that had time jumps. You built one character up, the main druggy male. I wish you painted a clearer picture of the counter part while drawing a bond using a few extra examples, because as is she seems like she should be the focal point but is under utilized. I still dig the paragraph structure even if it wasn't as fluid as last weeks Verse. All in all, not your best work in all honesty. Not as much build up as a verse centered around emotion and connection deserves to be successful.

Cert -not a fan of the rhyme structure and execution overall. Did enjoy the flashes of emotioN. The verses highlight was the short spurts of imagery though. The sweaty twitches on a squeaky mattress. The begging for drugs and getting the legal kind. The return.


This can be a tough vote because you both went similar routes in attempting to encapsulate a verse with emotions of a couple. Certain had the better imagery while also utilizing more lines to draw a stronger connection between me as a reader and his main character.


Voting Certain for a slightly more rounded and advanced style/execution.