[Soulstice]

Certain - Another piece and another demonstration of a sound grasp on writing techniques that give storytelling a bit of a flair. It's pretty clear that you subvert the constrain of rhyme flow and rhythm for emotion, character development and stylistic expression, the latter of which is applied in moments of repitition (please, awful, etc.). It doesn't have to rhyme insanely dope to be great (see Definitive Content, etc.), but there was always an aura of rhythm to defcons pieces that flowed well. I didn't see much thought put into the rhyme, it was more of a last thought kind of thing, rather than an effort to fire on all cylinders with the rhyme, story, and writing -isms. The natural language of the journal was fluctuated for me, I think the repitition was very human, but then it dipped toward some high-poetic stuff which didn't all fit together, especially over the course of a single day. Tone and style can work across different days, but not mixing.

So I thought this piece was the development of an unreliable narrator who misses someone who may or not have existed, it was like some shutter island shit or something. I must be right, the never being bit was so obvious. Let me know. An approach like this is something that would only even be considered by few writers, I think, chief among them being you, the editor.


Zen - A journey through memory, man once those days are gone even the bad times seemed good. Who needed doors anyway, you could brush her windblown hair out of her eye for her. The ending was cool, I feel like she got roasted on drugs too much, and is a shell of herself, but the narrator seemed pretty fond of drugs while reminiscing so, like, he would have a negative association with drugs if they fucked up his girl. Maybe its another girl, and she can't bring him the same satisfaction. Not sure, butit didn't really affect my view of the piece, just more of something I'm thinking about while voting.

One thing I didn't like was when you mentioned Ashley. That is such a thing a chick would not appreciate. Just remember her. The piece was enjoyable though, I like this style. I would say, like I think split said, work in some more, yknow, writing stuff. Prosaic nostalgia is the trope of tropes and is always evocative but evolution is always appreciated.

Dope battle, I think both pieces were extremely similar and Certain displayed a higher level of writing with what I think was an unreliable narrator. It was really close.

vote - certain