Certain. Was this 500 Days of Summer but for drug abuse? I don't understand at the crux of your verse, right at the reversion of the number scheme, what the driving cause was or even what is being referenced. I'm not sure I understand the reason for the relapse, the nature of the relapse, or the impetus for the relapse. Alcoholism? Not sure why attention was drawn to the mother. There were some standout lines, I just couldn't quite wripe my head around the overall theme. Even when I stopped reading without preconception and tried to suoperimpose the given topic.
Zen. Zen has steadily becoming a force to be reckoned with, as his narratives become more and more strongly tethered to the given topics. He has to be one of my favorite writers on the site by now. I thought this story of three friends who lost their chemistry was effective, not as potent as it could've been. The melancholia was strong without being stifling, which I guess probably accounts for my last sentence.
The total absence of the 3rd party was unsettling. I felt as if each character could've been developed more than just as tangential objects of misplaced nostalgia for the main character, it would've really strengthened a verse built on an excellent backbone.
Would just like to say that initially, I interpreted this the ending as Zen's friend overdosing, and the dissociation between the significance of the danger and the casual drug use was fucking beautifully represented by "She's just sitting over there, rolling her eyes" and now i want to write a story with that conclusion. Fuck.
My advice for Certain is to have more time to write you fuck. My advice to Zen is that his barebones style is aesthetically pleaisng and effective, but also is the perfect base for additional consturctions of plot/theme/character/atmosphere what have you. Sometimes I feel like your writing would come ALIVE if you weren't so witholding. And like, obviously you have to be careful in case of overdoing it & losing that style, but everything in moderation.
V/ Zen.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah
I'm going to start off on a tangent.
when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts, then i realize I'm just typing the words coffee, tawdry, and autumn over and over and over, again, then I pass out dru-
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