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Old 04-10-2015, 06:57 AM   #5
Split Eight
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I really, really loved UnbornBuddha's verse. It was the best I've read of him. His approach was almost like a thesis, where a point is given and then supported with various types of supporting details. It makes for a strong, if dry verse when properly structured- and the enjoyment depends on the quality of writing/ presentation and rhetorical basis, a difficult best to tame.

Adonis's verse was about the birth of a prophet and the burden placed on the father who played no true role in the immaculate conception. It was a fantastic portrayal of each character's viewpoint: the father, God, the prophet- however a satisfying conclusion that enveloped the established thematic connections never came around. Also didn't like howmthe characters were developed so thoroughly, while the mother was left an empty vessel. Highly advise you to finish this with a strong ending pertaining directly to the topic, as it's the most balanced and thorough piece of writing you have on file until this point.


V/ Buddha
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah View Post
I'm going to start off on a tangent.

when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts, then i realize I'm just typing the words coffee, tawdry, and autumn over and over and over, again, then I pass out dru-
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