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Old 04-17-2013, 09:37 PM   #12
King Ra.
The Throne, The Crown
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Both of you did well with your sides of the topic. Split, once again, I am impressed by your writing this week. It's starting to come together. Now, I don't know what it is, but your writing is written in a certain way, the scheme, your word choice- you have a very interesting way of writing. Your piece was great from the start to the finish. The repetition of the "another generation" bit fit very well & you really presented a fresh idea with your topic. Juxtaposition, your story was okay but a lot of things sort of took from it. I noticed in a lot of places it didn't rhyme- I don't know if that was intentional or maybe I didn't catch it, but it did slow me down. The story itself sort of lacked around the mid part. I understood the whole concept but it just seemed off? I feel you could have done something more differently because the first three stanzas were pretty good & the direction you went was eh. You definitely have the skills to write, but in this match compared to your opponent, it didn't match up to well.

MVGT: Split.
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