You now have used "cliffside" in nine verses since your verse titled "Cliffside." Your verses are so heavily reliant on interlocking continuity that I sometimes wonder if anyone has read enough of your verses to get all the allusions. It's pretty egotistical, too, but that's fine because you're great at this style of writing. Your rhyming was not quite at peak form here, though it got smoother as it went along. Instead, you focused on one-liners that resonated with the thematic portrait. Here's what I liked most:
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by dead man
let me lay. passion paradox as follows, true say
i'm happiest when causing you pain. it's such a shame
singularity is everything like lava and rain
pay your rent for 60 years just to inhabit a grave
touche. masquerade, we're becoming the clay
we muddied up our hands with everyday.
put on a smile and walk outside and make it okay
consider it a blessing if i make it to May
cement trails to wander through in personal time
live or die? sometime soon enough i'll learn to decide
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by dead man
i'm measured by how many numbers yearly i gross
but the times i'm most secure is when i miss you the most.
|