[Soulstice]

Originally Posted by ZeeDee (on AOB)

Topicaldood, this was great to read. The imagery jumps off the page almost as I read it and the flow is superb as well. The narration was action filled with all the details you'd expect within the topic of video games and I liked how you wrote it in the character of the video game. Your narration is intelligent and well worded as well as being nicely placed in sequences to put more emphasis on the graphic nature of the content. I think this topic was too easy fo you and you weren't really challenged enough by it. Still, you did exceptionally well with it.

Cdm, this was nice conceptually and some good outlining in the topical sense. A story within this topic of sports would of helped a lot I believe and some longer stanzas or sequences to display your vision more finely. I liked what you did, but it feels incomplete and needed more than just a conceptual outline of good and bad things within sports such as a character that you develop within sports that goes through those hardships you're talking about. Your wording, even though its lacking flow, its very poetical and reads nicely. This is pretty good, just needs more...

Vote topicaldood5

http://artofbattling.com/showthread....ll=1#post47002