WELL...
I recommend going to a local gun store/armory with its own shooting range and testing out the various calibers.
I think a guy like you could handle a 45. but you could always start with a 9mm. Try the longer barrels 5 or 6 inches to get a good feel for it.
as for rifles, go with an ak or an ar-15. invest in a local gun range/shooting range before buying. try before you buy.
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