pat.
this was an interesting read man..you have a very easy style to your writing lol..atleast with this one the flow and progession
are just flawless. this had such a dope poetic tone to it..it read like a spoken word piece..not like at a poetry slam lol where its loud
and shit..what im trying to say is i felt like some one was reading it aloud to me lol..good vibes man..as far as the story goes felt like
it jumped a little to fast for me. you left me with alot of questions..
tyson
tthe concept you brought to the table was dope man straight off the bat with that one lol.. i mean i thought it was cool how
you used sight to personify your overal goal for your story...great word chouce man i thought it was the highlight.. it was just
nicely put together and you managed to carry the cconcept to the end. scheme stumbled a bit...that line bent qouted and the
after that are a bit choppy and really hurt the flow...
overall
i think ama go with TYSON on this one i thought his conept was dope as fuck and though he stumbled a bit i thought he managed to do justice to
that dope ass concept..pat wrote some ill shit as well i just felt lie TYSON developed his story a bit better as well as bringing a better angle to the
topic. T
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