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Old 04-15-2013, 11:51 PM   #8
Inno
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

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objective.

felt like your piece had such a dope flow, but thats a given when the verse is short like that..and th e writer does an excellent job with the
structure and all that...mechanically onpoint this week. moving on to the story. felt al ittle stale brah. dunno i was waiting for that wow
moment but it never came..but like i said mechanically this was solid, word choice, scheme, prgession all of that...just felt like the actual
story itself was ok...didnt really like how you argued the other side..dunno felt like going from music to inmates was a far stretch for me.

keith.

felt like you started off with a bang bro..def feeling this piece more than the previous i read. anyway as far as the story goes like i said
it started off on the right foot.. but then towards the middle it seem to stumble and not really come across as clearly as the beginning.
kid of lost me there for a bit, story kinda lost its interest in that little bit. you seemed to pick it up towards the end and you finish strong.

overall

obejctive had some dope shit going...felt like his concept but felt a it short as far as a lasting impression..while keith dropped a very
creative concepts wit a decent story....both have written better imo..but in the end i got keith..i thought his effort, creativity and overall
enjoyement takes it for him...KK
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