[Certain]

I awoke to the sound of my neighbor's alarm clock. The wall that separates our bedrooms is awkwardly thin, especially since I've never even met this guy. It was 11:30 a.m., promptly. I try to set my alarms for odd times because it creates motivation. My brain is weird.

I stayed in bed for another two hours, half-sleeping and half-bullshitting on my phone. Finally I arose at around 1:15 p.m. to watch some basketball. First I brushed with Crest ProHealth and shat with my rectum. I actually had watched some basketball from bed on my phone. WatchESPN and smartphones in general are going to ruin America.

The Knicks were embarrassed. Kentucky was, too, despite winning. I don't like the Harrison twins at all, but Tyler Ulis and Devin Booker are good enough to save the season. They should go something like 38-1. Still might wind up losing to Duke or Gonzaga. I like this Gonzaga team more than most people do, though. Tim Hardaway Jr. can't be your No. 1 option, though. I think I can appreciate Phil Jackson's plan, but this is going to be ugly. It already is.

So I turned off the basketball at about 3. Had a little bit of work to do. I work every day, but today it was only going to be for about three hours. I knocked out a story and some other stuff, taught a coworker how to properly use Photoshop and tweeted a bunch of inane things because Twitter exists. At some point, I threw a couple pork/beef combination hot dogs on the Foreman Grill. I ate them with peanut butter because it's delicious. Peanut butter goes with everything.

Throughout this period I visited Netcees, but it was sort of a half-ass visitation. I haven't really been giving this site my undivided attention as much lately. But here I am, typing up what I did today.