View Single Post
Old 01-06-2015, 03:18 AM   #4
Zombie
Senior Member
 
Zombie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 125
Battle Record: 5-0


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 2645340
Zombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant futureZombie has a brilliant future
Default

The piece brought closure with the beginning of Wellington and ending of it! it also brought a more descriptive piece. I could see wellington on a foggy, maybe, not so foggy, dusky scenario! Maybe 1950s. Hooligan hat! London! hmmmmmmmmm.

kissed greedily outside the bar on Wellington Ave
spit and sweat and snowflakes and the horn of a cab
our secretive dance. the distant flirt was growing perverse
settled for each other cause we've settled for worse
homeward bound. ye olde corolla put the rev in reverse
drop you off before the storm. exchanging sets to rehearse
you're a close second. i'm a competitive first
at cultivating loyalty then breaking its curse
love hurts and so does opiate withdrawal at noon
clearing out my throat so i can talk to a room
of absentees and silent, absent-minded recluses
preoccupying their uselessness. the wandering youth
so I'm talking to you. bar stools & Estee Lauder perfume
you're evidence in leggings, i've got nothing to prove
the happiness we sought is but a common pursuit
of a couple kids who rarely put their conscience to use
traveled half the world to rediscover some truth
all it gave me was a tolerance boost. vodka and juice
bourbon and water. worms to the slaughter, squirming in vain
babysit your daughter while you search for a vein
a study in redundancy: we've learned to be trained
to lust with unconditional regard for the pain

for those affected. consequence, discord, disarray
disappeared in the second that i saw you today
dishonor, betrayal, monorails, we're hailing a cab
instead of waiting for the train to stop at Wellington Ave


I took the time out to highlight things for you! I liked it, some were because of the line itself, just something very eye opening, narratively unique, or just descriptive! Good job dm!!
Zombie is offline   Reply With Quote