This battle is hard to call, both caught me off guard, and both ended in ways I didn't connect with.
Vulgar, verbose. You hit hard with your opening. The multi arrangement was dope, and the wording was clear. You quickly escalated the vocab level, which lent urgency to the read through, anticipation of how these concepts would gel. The choke or hospice line was jarring tho, hard to assemble into the whole, and the verse went that direction til the close. The topic just dissolved into the wording and became harder to grasp.
UnbornBuddha, visceral. You wrote a much more relatable piece, in terms of word choice and topic use. The elevated grammar didn't once become too wordy or vague. I like this style from you, focused, irreverent, picky. Like you didn't just try to conjure a vision with words, but actually showed it. The end (like a lot of us this week) was the weak point, because the verse wouldn't have naturally concluded there with the narrative you began.
Vote @
UnbornBuddha for his clarity mostly. Vulgar had some amazing lines, but the gist of it all was unclear.