[Adonis]

V - Not sure about this one but I'll say what I gathered. I didn't get the deeper message to be honest. To me, this verse was you simply saying random shit about humanity in general. You tossed in the Neanderthal line in the end to sort of sum it up in a sense, slight attempt to bring it full circle as to say, "look how far we've come", ironically I suppose?? There was some decent lines spaced about, but in pure truth, I just am not a big fan of this verse. Regardless of that fact being because it went over my head or not, I've never been a huge fan of placing humanity on Petri dish as a muse.

Buddha - Opening line was extremely captivating for me, did not like the re-use of the name GOD so closely together in the opening 4 lines. I liked the word usage and a nearly fragmented sentence structure. Hard to explain, but the powerful imagery was backed by the shortened lines with in lines because you could fit so much into them... Example..."Shower me with unconditional love, but instead you expel a sickening cough
& spit on me blood! Show me any sign of divinity, anything, even pixie dust! "...What I mean is how this reads like more then just one bar because of the amount of subject matter squeezed into it. 16, err, 17 line battles seems to fit your skill a bit better in this case. I don't see the evil in humanity though, rather the writer only. either way, easy win for you here in my eyes.

I've welt and chained many helpless slaves, mental impairment awaits


Voting buddha

More impactful writing.