Terrific read on both sides.
Just Write: I like the format of your verse, the background intro concept helped add depth to the verse. I feel the intro segment could have been shortened down to allow for more content however it was still solid. My favourite part of the was the description of the robot. Your use of a familiar reference in c3p0 really meshed will with the added description you gave it. Painted a neat picture in my head. I respect the message given out throughout, and was emphasized in the last stanza, however for whatever reason I started to lose interest towards the end. Overall, a solid verse with many high points, good work.
Zen: There are many ways to add depth and enjoyability to a verse; humor, barrage of imagery, intriguing concepts, ect. The ace in your sleeve this week was emotion. The contrast in feelings between the spectrums of life here made for an amazing verse. Another thing that is very rare (to me anyways) was the replay value of this verse. Give past information later on in the verse makes you read the beginning portion in a new context so I reread the first stanza again and really enjoyed how much I comprehended just slightly differently.
Overall: Just Write had a solid verse with the middle portion standing out most to me. I feel that overall, Zen came stronger this week with a start to finish verse with no lack in interest.
Vote to Zen
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