[Just Write]

Originally Posted by zygote

The noble Pine truly was the almighty forest king,
Peaceful doves would gather in its branches holding olive twigs,
A father to all, from the other trees to the smallest things,
From the orchid flower to the common fig.
Years of light turned the pine dark brown, deep red and aged,
A symbol of stability as the seasons frequently change,
Beams and rays captured by its leaves retained heat in the day,
The pine brought warmth to the lamb that would sleep in its shade.

The vine only looked forwards in its pursuit for greatness,
To reach the very treetops and assume its rightful placement.
In quick time the vine had reached the pines summit,
The vine felt power, as it studied the land and looked down upon it.
The vine spoke to the pine: Hah! And for how long have you lived?
In only one season I have grown as much as you ever did.

The pine shook its leaves: Listen newcomer. I stand eons old.
Every hundred years or so your kind appears and goes,
You wither or freeze in the hard times of heat or cold,
And then you ask for safety as the stormy seasons roll.

Barely one season old and you are already claiming the right to stay,
You are nothing, I have seen empires rise and fall like night and day.
In short time you will not exist, all your glory will be stripped away,
Swift advancement is always followed by a swift decay.

I really enjoyed this piece, it was very hard for me to just select a few lines for quotables because in all honesty I loved it all. I think even though I understand the allegory and the connection with your piece to the topic it still wasnt at all what i was expecting and was not fully wrapped around the given topic. still a phenomenally written piece to say the least.

Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka

Heaven is not real. But one can experience "heaven" here on earth. Its called love. ive found paradise with my wife


when were apart, life is dark, just a black abyss,
from the start, had my heart, feelin fabulous/
the catalyst, cupids dart, sharp and accurate,
as we embrace, face to face, a fantastic bliss/

gotta say the placement of fabulous here bugged me as fabulous is spoken fab-u-lus and not fab-u-lis-

when were together, life is better, heres the astounding proof,
our love will last forever, its the fountain of youth/
reach new heights, set our sights, on a mountain of truth,
life has ups, downs, all arounds and a thousand loops/
we can make it, more than basic, no profound excuse,
so im thankful things are tranquil, like the sound of flutes/
now were winning, the beginning, can be found in roots,
the seeds that we planted, have grown into a surrounding group/

this was really clever, and flowed beautifully

this is the fam, take my hand, that's the magnetism of lovers,
our eyes meet, feel complete, as my vision discovers/
an excellent testament within a prism of colors,
aura like an angel in a fable, my heart instantly flutters/
lets make a leap of faith, and escape any commotion,
and dive into, not a book, but a tropical ocean/
while everyone else is focused, on being hopeless, hopin,
that the pearly gates await, and will someday open/

again just executed flawlessly


were livin life to the fullest, fulfilling our dreams,
heaven is on a place called earth, that's what happiness brings/
theres no equal, to seeing an eagle, flapping its wings,
as we back pack and continue, mapping these themes/
so the hell with a church, we don't need to search,
got a stream of consciousness that quenches our thirst/

Good ending, only problem is these last lines were the only lines wrapping around the topic

I enjoyed this verse mike, I really think you have a laid back unique style, I just do not think you conveyed the topic as much as you could have. it sounded more like a love letter with an "our life is better than heaven" post script thrown in at the end.


this was an alright battle, i think both could have done better as far as topic relevance goes but the stories were definitely top notch. i'm going to go with who i feel stayed more around their targeted topic and that would be: Zygote