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Old 04-14-2013, 01:28 PM   #6
Just Write
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigma View Post
Identity Crisis

I'm a decorated scholar, just a tyrant whos bleeding
His mind on the sheet, organized and typed into the lines that your seeing
See, I write it so deeply that even my mind can't leash it
Gotta reread it three times to decipher the higher meaning

nice opener, dug this last line alot

In life as a spiral beacon despite it's colliding seasons
The frights that'll lie beneath it, the sprites and the viral demons
I'm fighting to find the key and am righteous when I resolve it
Unlocking the treasure, saw that all perspectives are never ending
The next decension, sent to repent in the depths of REM sleep
In the middle of this mess I feel regret I can't repress these
Became lucid oozing sweat in my bed sheets, second best type of wet dream

last line made me chuckle, the setting and the whole REM plaot has me thinking of black ops 1 campaign mode for some reason lol


It was perplexing, torrential horrors upsetting the weathers norm
Cold War etched with some Desert Storm, frost thicker then ever before
Weapons pre-preemptively drawn, deception round every corner
Mourn their own and celebrate in the death of an enemy soldier

I can respect what you were going for but disagree, weather friend or foe death of someone is never to be celebrated and most soldiers (good soldiers) feel that way too, as far as deception around every corner, i definitely agree with that. ive seen iraqi children pass out lighters to american soldiers that when lit they explode taking faces and limbs off.


The general consensus; show respect and hold in-check with every ethnic soul
And yet we're thrown against the foes we get to known
Repressed, and told it's best we step our toe in ever country just to check the flow
And FUCK how it reflects us, no.. Our penny's spent aren't low
But with this death-ball we've invented, you will not collect the debt we owe!
So.. Only investment cheque that grows is sent to the men who lent the dough
LET ME GO!!!
I'm in my head and these jesters talking
Tryin to get me like paparazzi
Saw the God's watch us walking on and evolve to Nazi's
Bombed our property, Kamikaze, Osama, Saddam, and Gadaffi

this was a nice little portion, and agreed we as america are a bunch of bullies lol. whe n you refer to the "death ball are you referring to this "Death Star" we're supposedly going to start building in the next few years? ive heard a little bit about it but have failed to do much research as of yet.


I prey we solve the nonsense but beyond the talking
Remain convulsing in the grey because the monster I saw was not me

these last couple lines literally gave me goosebumps and conveys how i felt emotionally to a tee. kudo's



Quote:
Originally Posted by Xces View Post
- The Game Of Ebb & Flow -

Witness twists in a game of patience, between tricksters an patrons,
Jesters eluding aloof mistakes, leading opponents to misplacement
Parading a false loss as a cause for elation, in grave sense
The distaste left, often is embossed by applauding disinformation0
0

this was very elegantly put and imo a beautiful opener,

-“The only way to get smarter is by playing a smarter opponent.”-

Imprisoned patients awaiting their urgent reprieve in the field
Seek meaning between defeats, until their true reasons revealed,
The deceits concealed beneath the sweetness of a legions guilt
Bodies as serenely still as leaves discretely conceding to wilt
Amongst seed an silt, blood sullies pastures of greener grass
Where life once lavish, lies famished in fields of sundered ash

I liked this part but ionno, just can't see much connection to the topic

-"In every game and con there's always an opponent, and there's always a victim.
The trick is to know when you're the latter, so you can become the former.”-

As if thunder clashed, triumphant shells combustion's cracked
Splashing artillery shrapnel matter, amongst clouds of mustard gas
Strategies beyond a lovers task, have commonly come to pass
Amongst Sun Tzu's rumbling pads is "To succumb is a cumbersome task."
As Rutherford wonders of collapse, foes come to slumber en masse
Well punctual plunders unmask, puncturing their fumbled advance
With advantage slung at a slant, the commanders rumbled a chant
An began the crumbling of comfort of having structure encamped.

this whole part was dope, fisrt few lines were pretty descriptive as far as the chaos in the middle of an advancement

-"You do the hard work, I just help you along feeding pieces to you,
and making you believe you took those pieces."-

Rummagin' begun in a flash, they basked in victorious spoils.
Well soldiers souls boiled, in bunkers reborn of the soil
As morrow, crept, under darkness of dusk, upon storming night
The torrent of deaths horsemen arose amidst sorrowful sights
The scorned ignite phosphorus composites among the lock an pick
An listen to the screaming victims, of accepted accomplishment.

the soldiers souls boiled, in bunkers reborn of the soil line was dope, really enjoyed that one

"The more control the victim thinks he has, the less control he actually has."

Check Mate

Rutherford was a chemist & physicist who had his interpretation of the atom rejected due to the fact it would have collapsed on itself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutherford_model

-Only thing I didn't think people would get. ....

-X
OK so i really enjoyed this battle, definitely one i was looking forward to reading (had a hunch you would both go towards the same "War" theme. With topics like these(pro vs. con almost) it's hard to decide but in this one i'm going to go with who's story I enjoyed more on a personal level and that would be nigma's, ex you told a very good story too i just didnt see anything that really made it stand out FOR ME, and in my own personal opinion all those breaks with the quotes took away fromn your piece and hurt you in the end so mvgt:NIGMA
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