Quote:
Originally Posted by trajik
everything's sorted and accounted for, almost forcing a mold
his monotonous metropolis life is not with a wife
he's anonymous, autonomous, never taught what is strife
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I liked how this piece started, it's very relevant to the times. Really good word choice in the first verse especially (
invest in the lessons,
afford self control, sorted and
accounted for.... then later, fate's
mortgaged). Without explicitly stating it, I thought it evoked the typical young man on Wall Street - someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. But the shift in tone towards the end threw me a bit, and I'm not sure it felt believable to me. If the whole point is how Chester comes to evolve as a person, then I think you could have spent a little more time explaining his motivations to make it as relatable as the first few verses. Technically well written though with a good flow and some clever, witty insights and wordplay. Overall I enjoyed it.