Soul - I take the closer to reflect your actual stance on writing/posting that verse? I feel like this could have been a bigger verse with more tie ins to the topic and itself, and it needed it. I liked how you started with your family and moved out to the town, like a cinematic lens zooming out for the big picture while the smaller pieces are puzzle-esque in nature and fit both the topic specifically and the grand picture. However, the big picture felt unfinished and thats where I think the ending stemmed from. Could be wrong but thats my take.
Nyc -- nice characterization. Felt more like an ode than I would have liked it to. Less story driven essentially. Kind of lackadaisical writing comparative to what I know youre capable of, but I can't fault you for that - just disappointed. Good take on the topic, appropriate and inspiring - in the sense that history is being forgotten by each new generation. Its hard to find someone to accurately represent history anymore and soon itll be some lies in a book.
Vote nyc
Last edited by Pent uP; 12-08-2014 at 10:20 PM.
|