[UnbornBuddha]

Arid: when I first read it, my first impression was it was a bit simplistic. Not a bad thing, but as you can probably gauge from the league there are a plethora of talented writers. Anyways, as I read on I began to catch the subtle eloquence in your writings. Images like "Excuses are an alkali when her acid's in my system" truly dazzle the reader with metaphoric currents. The story was basically about a lecherous man who was on a quest to fondle a woman's breast, and along the way in his mental daze he managed to kill her fiance during driving. Ultimately, she gets revenge. I also enjoyed how when she came to the hospital her remarks seemed like a cadence to this man, who was hypnotized by her features. I enjoyed it, some of your lines seem like filler though. And though I understood it, the first stanza seemed a bit muddle. Not the beginning, but as it progresses, especially the plot.

Storyteller: The words chosen are punctilious, yet even with it this verse remained a bit ambiguous, shrouded in mystery to me. How I finally chose to understand it was a regal who ended in a coffin of some sort, while a ceremony was being held for him. Honestly, this verse felt disconnected. There is this array of words that have no close correlation, for example opium, corsages, Taurus. There was a lot of going on that I couldn't decipher. You can write, but a little more straightforwardness would have shed the light for me. Truthfully, I couldn't figure out what you were talking about. I like the language of it, but everything just felt disconnected. I like abstract pieces, but I can't seem to figure out the relation to the topic. Perhaps, it's a regal whose quest for recognition led to acts of treachery of some sort. It also seems to denote almost a ceremonial rite in which there is a commencement of grievances, or of rejoicing exemplified by the jubilee. There seems to be this emotion of discontent that is draining the life force from the narrator, whose split between a deciding of what it is they are, a poet, or a soul on the terrestrial plane. The scavenger room, and the beast were perplexing, especially there being no ventilation between the two. Is there a soul who is separating from the departed's corporeality, and seeing everything from the perspective of an immaterial essence. Anyways, I really did tried to figure it out I had more thoughts, but there is no use putting them all out. Maybe a little bit more straightforward can serve you well. Keep your style, I like it, but I as a reader was lost in the mayhem of terminological melange.

My vote goes to: Arid

Thank you.