Soulstice, succinct. This was poignant and flawless. Poetic. Rendered so fluidly, it almost (barely) stands on it's own against any verse of any length. If you'd doubled the length, the power of your wording and prose would beat any verse I've read here thus far. It's short though, and the end seems to imply concession. Despite the short read, this didn't feel rushed, or even cut short. Well done.
NYCSPITZ, compelling. This is an interesting examination of a man who most americans know by name, but who's history and struggle is largely ignored. Reading this inspires me to study Thomas Jefferson more deeply than I'd ever thought to. The handful of grammatical errors don't detract from the portrait too much. I feel a bit cheated though, it seems like you began to tell a story, but decided to stick to a character study. If you'd taken the intriguing character and placed him in a familiar historical situation, this would've felt more complete.
Vote-NYC. The character he envisioned was interesting, and the wording of lines here gracefully drew his personality and motivations. Soul should've written just a bit more. His prose was much more eloquent, but didn't develop far enough to win this.
|