[Arid]

How do I explain who she is to me?
This misery, Miss Mystery
Sea full of fish so I hit the beach,
looking for a missing link
I'll Grow lungs when she kisses me
Convinced that it's destiny
Accept all her illusions as a test for me
Let her send me on a quest to free,
the pieces of her past that won't rest in peace
Sex could be a groping, unprotected exorcism
Passion buried in respected coping mechanisms
Second opinion appraisals lead to painful "best decisions"
To move on
To move out
To move mountains of regret, denied to the death
Trying isn't good enough when she lies silent in bed
The pressure of her discontent drawing a line in my head
Between my right to be judged and my will to be wed
That I'd gratefully blur as she sighed a goodnight
I'd turn on all the lights and hold on to her tight
Fight the urge to frighten her with honest admission
That my thoughtless indiscretion's how we got to this position
I'd have an alibi, a lie, a long pretended wisdom
Excuses are an alkali when her acid's in my system
I've a feeling she'd dismiss me well before the harm is done
This One, a Queen, Her lunar force reflected by the sun
Her passing me each day this way is fate, my karma come
The wheels of my car spun,
smoking on the cement
I may be sick but just her scent can tell me where she went
She'd be with me right now if I could find how to repent
flipped a U-turn, she's just ahead,
crossing Mill with her new "friends"
If she knew what they do behind her back those ties would end
I pretend to drive while every fiber of me bends
To feel what it'd be like to spend my time on her earth
Be the guy with the girl, Why is it absurd?
-I feel the car lurch-
Staring at her perfect pair of eyes, I've just swerved and hopped the curb
My head lights catch the last breath of a bike cop
Mashing down the break to stop,
I skid over his body into the facade of a coffee shop
My - last - thought - is - AIRBAG
POP!




....




I'm not real used to waking up between cloth hospital walls
But as one's thoughts drift in and out of recall, there's problems to solve
I've slept a few weeks off it feels, and real isn't what it was once
I've struggled through months of watching blood splatter the store front
I see it still
And my reasons for waking seem weak as my stomach
A doctor is summoned
I breathe pure oxygen, plummet into that moment to watch what I'd done again
Wake to find Her standing by the window of my punishment
I must be dead
I touch my head which is covered over with bandages
she's still standing there watching the sun set
The girl I love, I must have said aloud as she started
My heart hit a higher rhythm, monitor blipped as her lips parted
"you killed him" she blurted
Confused, I worked hard to refuse to believe that her words were targeting me
"You Killed HIM. I waited because I wanted to tell you that you killed my fiance, Tom.
His name was Tom, and because you were checking me and my friends out like a PERVERT, Tom is dead.
He was riding over to me to tell me his shift would end at five thirty, and he'd meet me......"
Here she couldn't seem to go on
Even her accusations had the cadence of a song
This arid air is no fit place for maidens fair, it makes them need to be strong
"Tom and I, were going to meet at his parents house to plan our wedding.
And you killed him for what? For This?"
with a swift motion she slit her shirt open, exposing her chest
"Tits? Big beautiful tits that you'll never get to touch!?!?"
The knife that she clutched had a hilt like a bayonet
I know because she drove it as far into the base of my neck
My blood on her face replaced his blood on my bumper
And I hope she gets away with it, my killer, I love her.