Thread: Zeugma
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Old 12-03-2014, 11:14 PM   #3
ogiatje
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first off the format of this sucks. better off putting it in a format that works for your rhymes, you had a decent rhyme scheme so learn to make that work for you.

i just spew the truth on some scooby doo shit since real monsters always human, and truth is you wouldnt be hot walking through a lava pool topped with fossil fuel and couldnt cause a mood switch with two sniffs of molly, wanna duel?? shit, you’d lose quick as food did to Gandhi. i couldnt give two shits like Daylyt,
this was probably my favorite part. it was specific, personable and had some good creativity. i felt like a lot of the other part you sacrificed personality for rhymes, which sometimes can work for you but can also work against you. keep letting the personality shine.
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