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Old 12-02-2014, 01:51 AM   #12
Certain
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19


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- AOWL Season 3
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zygote: You're a jerk with your damn style-copying thing whenever you face anyone good whose style you're familiar with. Still this was really good. There were degrees in which it was a clear-cut NYCSPITZ style aping, but I appreciate the level of difficulty in that undertaking and also feel compelled to judge each verse in a given battle on its own. Also, there were hints of your own style (the repeating of key words and names is a zygote hallmark, for instance) and breaks in the mimicry for the sake of a better story. I appreciated this story because of the intensity with which it built. The ending had an emotional heft that some of your more allegorical work lacks. This was an outstanding work, one of the best of the season.

NYCSPITZ: There are times when you bury great storytelling underneath overpacked vocabulary. It makes writing like this much more demanding than it has to be and also cuts into the natural lyricism that you more effortlessly show when you write about less askew topics. When I pulled back the veil here, the story was pretty energetic and interesting. The long Nov. 30 entry was by far the best, with its action-filled descriptions bringing to life this weird world you created or at least operated in. I don't think you set the setting well enough, though, and the complexity of the narrative needed a bit more breathing room. Your verse would have beaten just about anyone else this week (probably not dead man), but zygote's verse took a similar tilt with a more accessible and agreeable story and less overwrought storytelling.

Vote: zygote
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