[Soulstice]

Story - Liked the last stanza - ahead of your time/no longer improve, was a cool line that really fit the image and the point of your piece. I thought your rhymes were strong and your phrases which you chose to rhyme were strong, but they were difficult to connect: like I understand "open bibles blank recitals" and "crumpled symphony harvesting shades/plundering maze" mean but you didn't create any concrete images or tie them together with any story/topical structure. It was kind of an all-out assault of sick rhymes and cool phrases. Which Isn't always so bad, but when your against pent up its probably going to be the cause of your loss, because he is going to string something coherent together.

Pent up - whoa, this was good. I instantly thought of some stupid 20something debate about heaven - and then nearly anything good. Especially when you closed it the way you did. Why debate the good things, let them be. You kind of started at the opening of the debate, delved deep into it, and then settled back at the top of it, content with your thesis. A conceptual parabola. The three potential "heavens" you debated weren't really the point, but the second matrix one was kind of played imo. The pin a void line was sick, and the first stanza brought a human side to heaven that made my mind go in all directions like I said in the opening of my vote. Good job.

v - pent up