zygote- well, the word paperclip was a bit redundant.. but it's repetition also had a part in the mechanical feel of the verse in it's entirety. " a personal entry " was an interesting addition. i enjoyed the personality you gave to your ai, seemed real.. formal and distanced as one would expect..
I am only passionate about the production of paper clips, that is my drive.
a bit dry and straightforward. fittingly. had some very good rhymes. did the job you were going for, well.
/v frank- the rambling tone of the verse fit the character. sort of meandered around like i imagine larry might.
however, some of the word choices had me stop from time to time.. read, wonder.. continue. fittingly.
didn't rely on rhymes so much as storytelling.. character development was good, felt like i knew the guy.
although you didn't rhyme as much, i related to your character more .. so i gotta vote your way.
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