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Old 11-27-2014, 01:12 PM   #4
Arid
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 57
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This is a tough decision.

Dead Man, descriptive. I liked the imagery a lot. From the vines twisting like executioners wrists to the people you thought were immortal, there was poetry in every line. You did end on a vague note in the story, first looking for a 'him' then not really looking for anything but to feel better. The lack of narrative direction is a minor flaw here though, because the imagery and creative rhyme scheme were so enjoyable.

Certain, hard hitting. Once again you've written a piece that hits close to my life. The technologically induced apathy of american life. Your repetitions were a good reset point, helping to connect each part of your verse back to the topic. That you elaborated on the pictures origin instead of narrating a story based on the image struck me as a fresh perspective at first, but as it went on the tenuous connection to the topic broke and this became a reactionary declaimation of white supremacy.

Vote-eeeetrrrrr.... um. Ok. I cast my vote to Dead Man for poetic imagery and an engrossing story. Certain veered a bit from the topic and his piece felt preachy. Great battle though.
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