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Coup · 11-20-2014, 08:11 PM

Rigid opening. The strong rhymes (time/rhymes, existent/persistent etc) were cliches, under realized and too many syllables in such an overall short worded intro...struck the wrong balance.

Liked the theme and loved the last line in this piece.

11-20-2014, 08:11 PM	#10
Coup Don't believe the hype Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 572 Battle Record: 4-5 Rep Power: 0	Rigid opening. The strong rhymes (time/rhymes, existent/persistent etc) were cliches, under realized and too many syllables in such an overall short worded intro...struck the wrong balance. Liked the theme and loved the last line in this piece.