Storyteller, although I understood the crux of what you were going for I felt there was a bit of turbidity in the conveying of it. Although the writing was clean, in terms of progressive infrastructure, there was this muddle feeling in which vagueness flowed profusely. I did appreciate the language, although the diction at times felt a bit contrived. This constraint could have been relieved if you expanded just a tad more, in which you'll sacrifice the conciseness in favor of clarity. Anyways, this was okay.
Greed, there were too many factors left unanswered. This state of amnesia was too much of an excuse to forego basic plot development details. You are obviously capable considering the work I have seen from you. But, bare in mind this might be a false assumption, it almost felt you did not put enough Gong Fu (功夫), so as to construct a more vivifying verse. I applaud the submission, but will say you can always add more of a splash of imagination so as to spice up your arsenal. It almost feels as if you lean toward the more negative sides of life so as to be able to conjure up a piece. Be more expansive, even if it is uncomfortable at first.
Thank you both. My vote goes to Storyteller.
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