buddha - i really enjoyed where you began this verse and was a bit muddled as to where you began to end it. you are an astronaut in search of terrestrial beings, who possess healing powers in their shit. perhaps the second half is simply a madman's hallucinations or delusions of sort and it is not a literal "factoid" about alien poop. it got a chuckle out of me though the more i read on. your wording is very ESL, if you know what i mean. your vocabulary is extensive but the way you express yourself in the written word is very mechanical and textbook. there is not the flexibility or fluidity i really prefer when reading this type of work. rather, your skill rests in your expansive imagination and ideas that you are able to articulate astutely and descriptively. while you have a very slow rhythm and pace to your work, it still clicks. although you could definitely trim some of the fat.
what ultimately kills you is a disease i assume you were hoping to prevent or cure using the feces of these beings. correct me if I'm wrong here..
ultimately, youve written something of worth and entertaining at the very least. it felt like part of a series, perhaps
defiant.
yeah. i liked your submission. but i haven't seen elysium, so I'm not sure how to gauge this objectively. what i will say was that i now am pretty tempted to watch it based on your imagery connected to the film itself. seems like a pretty inspirational movie. visually, at least. one who was meant to be a leader post-apocalypse fighting through the abyss towards salvation. for himself.. not his fellow survivors? that kind of threw me for a loop but i guess i would have to see it to really understand hs mentality fully. it seems because he's stronger or smarter than every other survivor, he rejoices in the chaos knowing he will always wind up surviving it.
idk.
my voting is for @
UnbornBuddha because he gave us a much richer, more completed work. while UB's felt like the start of a series, defiance felt like a work in progress.
thanks to both competitors
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