Thread: Battle Rap 12
View Single Post
Old 11-16-2014, 05:00 AM   #7
Dominate
Tread Lightly.
 
Dominate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,533
Battle Record: 26-9


Champed
- Netcees Battle League
- Battle Arena
- Tag Team Tournament III
- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"

Rep Power: 18197460
Dominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant future
Default

This was my favorite from all the "battle rap (number)" verses I read - only one I've felt compelled to respond to. Rhyming was on point and added a lot to the sense of swagger. Content wise there was a lot of "ha!" moments - I'll quote below. You should consider throwing your hat in the ring for swag and flow battling - think you'd do well. Very minor things for me to critisice - I didn't like the placement of "you question my temperament?" so close to "someone else said you're the best?" - two unrelated question-led lines so close together... and the use of two separate law-based punchline sections was unappealing - may have been better if it was all together as a continuing theme for part of the verse, rather than something you circled back to. As I said though, these are minor flaws. Overall this was really, really good.

Best lines:


Possess more power than a multipurpose core with a surge strong enough burn the cords connected to your circuit board.
The Hungarian, French and Japanese judges all gave me a perfect score.

Battling me will make your life insurance premium rise -
Consent to dangerous terms is reasonably implied

I’m skilfully deft, consistently the best and brilliantly blessed, the top 1% on every single ability test.
Hit twice with the right then switch to the left, you’re a bitch and chivalry’s dead. (LMAO! Best line)
A statement stating you’re good can be simply expressed as a statement that just isn’t correct.

Your style is hardly vital - mine is archetypal with an archive titled: “GOD’S ARRIVAL.”

I’ll pressure your squad until it’s only one on one like a penalty shot.
The punches you throw feel like a gentle massage.


My style is vicious and eloquent with a singular emphasis on simple aggressiveness.
Your position is tenuous. It resembles drinking while pregnant the way I kill your development.


My food for thought is twice your daily dietary intake -



Thanks for the read!
__________________
The Bad Guys
Dominate is offline   Reply With Quote