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Old 11-15-2014, 10:47 AM   #3
Geno
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Format was cool. Broke the scheme to an actual precise style. I mean.. pretty easily read outloud and the line breaks gave it good rhythm. Had some cool ideas in it. I think you should work on a more aggressive approach. Just in the words you use. I mean i see wyat your saying. I just think harsber words would bring a more impactful outcome for the reader.
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