It's been ages since I've read sumthin' of yours, which is my bad as more than often I like what you post.
I think at times you try to over think what your gonna write next, you set up things yet they never connect, or when they do it doesn't resonate with most of your readers...in the mind it does, but when your pennin' it up the separation is evident.You definitely have the tools to dig further in this art, I've seen better from you...what I do like is the emotion you lace your joints with...if every bar of yours was like the ones cats have quoted here you'd drop heat for weeks.
Stay upwards.
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