This was an interesting piece as well, your flow is nice
And the way you keep the pace of the story is great
You transition from rhyme to rhyme somewhat effortlessly
In the beginning it was pretty bumpy when you broke from...
The full word syllable to broken syllable if that makes sense
it didn't effect the piece as a whole it just seems odd
we all do it, it just seemed difficult to keep the same pace of the flow
as far as the story goes I felt like it was pretty well done
it didn't lack anything too crucial and quite possibly defeat anyone in the AOWL
not me of course but I see you growing Witty its nice to see you in the OM
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