Aight voting time, same as I said in my last vote mechanics and flow
dont mean shit to me, I expect them to be great from both so saying that,
time to throw myself in and read.
Cereal - Ok so from the start, I loved the intro, that it jumped
straight into the story, for me your intro led me to think this would
be a 3rd person story, but then kind of turned into a first person
from the womans view im guessing. Left me a bit confused at first but im
guessing the start was the epilogue, so all good. Ok so the verse was
written from the womens point of view, Your my boy killa but I felt you
described a rape too poetic, was a lot of discription but lacked substance,
I would of prefered more substance, more anguish, lol makes me sound like
a rapist but ah well you know what I mean, she didnt seem to be too bothered,
that im scared and I feel weak really did feel a bit meh, i know you well
killa and you can do better than that, anyway as a whole you did pick it up
towards the end, as far as the verse goes tho and it pains me to say, coz your
my boy, I thought you lacked substance, im used to you going really wild with
your decriptions, in this case it felt empty. sorry bro gotta call it how I see
it.
Witty - ok so first stanza, very akward, knew what you was saying but worded
very badly, didnt like. ok 2nd stanza started off akward but then I thought was
decent, get the feeling your going off the film with the pistol whipping so ok
not bad. Ight didnt like the next few lines & ill tell you why,
this isn't poetry, this is a tale of an old disease
this jail is so cold it seems hell is in over=freeze
didnt see a link up at all to your first few stanza, & im sorry
but over-freeze? feels like you were struggling, sorry if this isnt the
case. So ok after that blip it picked up in my view nice, aight so your next
stanza felt like bragging in a fight etc but it felt very simple, lacked depth,
did'nt really draw me me much but ok I got it, aight to me you went from been
an agry cunt to a subtle poetic one by the end lol, sorry thats how I saw it
ending was ok I guess explained a little, any Witty ive also seen verse from
you before and you can write better, sorry.
Overall sorry guys was disapointed, I can only see it how I read it.
kind of felt you both came below you standard, was expecting BOTW to be
fairm gonna vote CK on acount his verse made more sense to me.
dont hate just a voter.
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