kannon: I liked second stanza because it inverted what was a way-too-easy take on this topic. I like to be surprised. I wasn't when I saw you made your narrator into a DJ. But the twist was good and felt true, probably because you've been there before. The writing was crisp, and the flow was perfect. There wasn't much emotion or writerly flourish, but the directness was appreciated.
Greed: I wrote a verse earlier this season that pretty much started at the exact endpoint of this verse. That doesn't mean much, but it's an interesting coincidence. This started really rough, like you didn't know quite where you wanted to go with it. You didn't create the atmosphere of the high-stakes illegal card room until almost halfway through the verse. kannon's crisper delivery of his purpose is the differentiator here, but I really like the way you rhyme and tell a story once you find your rhythm. Your verse had more potential, while kannon executed.
Vote: kannon
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
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