[UnbornBuddha]

Storyteller- a tale, or rather an emotional description of the joy of becoming a father as newborn life unfolded. A retelling of a memory implanted in the father's psyche as he experienced becoming one. And this retelling brings about a haze. I'm not exactly sure how it does so, I don't feel you fully expounded upon the process of how it does so. Anyways, I liked it. Although, the wording was clunky at times, but nevertheless I cannot say I disliked anything in particular either. It was decent and heart felt, yet nothing was spectacular.

Zen, you wrote a piece of a sinking ship. Though that took only part of the verse. You also wrote on the Captain's journaling to Janice detailing his love not only for her, but of the sea. Ironically his latter love did him in. Yet, as his ship plummeted, I'm assuming its his ship since his the captain, but you never know. Anyways, as the ship plummeted the gulls delivered a song of grace, perhaps a lullaby of an approaching death. Although, when you stated there were different now, you did not state the previous incantations of the gulls. I found that a bit flawed. Nevertheless, I think this was a well done topic. After all the sea is very affiliated with fog, storms, and such. Thus, it can bring about the same feeling onto others, as it engulfs them either through work, or through plunging them into its deep waters. I do feel some of the narration was a bit dry, and some of the lines were kind of filler. For example, the significance of ink spilling. I get the hurried meaning of it, but it would have been nice if there was more symbolism to such things. If not, then the use of other more meaningful lines that would add to the story rather than take needless space.

Vote Zen.