Netcees - View Single Post - WK6: Dove Dozer (3-1) vs Vulgar (2-2) -- Vulgar 3-1

CopyPat · 11-09-2014, 03:02 PM

good battle, real close. of course 2 army guys took basically the same route with this haha. woulda been cool to see if one of u maybe coulda twisted the topic a little but still the 2 verses were solid and hit the topic

vulgar i liked ur verse, u didn't go off on some weird shit, u kept it readable and wrote a gritty story. also the rhyming was there but not as much, or as good as you are capable of. i also wasn't feeling ur ending:

About thirty of them were enlisted in that moment, they were seeking revenge
"You are now liberated. Lace up your bootstraps! We support Poles..."
but they were all barefoot, some with sandals on.
their reconstructed heels required reinforced soles.

the non rhyming 1st and 3rd line and the whole bar in between the we support poles and reinforced soles just came off weird. threw the whole thing outta whack, which up until that point was very smooth. was just a sudden, weird, jolting ending flow and rhythm wise.. which i didn't like

dozer ur verse wasn't spectacular by any stretch but again it was really solid in a lot of aspects.. flow was really smooth, the content was pretty good and i feel like u just did what you had to do here. i like the fact that u didn't tell a story but rather used the actual boots for the meat of the verse and made it about describing them and where they have taken you and where they have been etc. i just thought your idea was more original than vulgars and u executed slightly better.

this was close but woulda been WAY closer in my eyes if Vulgar didn't have those 2 weird closing bars, that to me, docked a few points.

Vote: DD

11-09-2014, 03:02 PM	#5
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	good battle, real close. of course 2 army guys took basically the same route with this haha. woulda been cool to see if one of u maybe coulda twisted the topic a little but still the 2 verses were solid and hit the topic vulgar i liked ur verse, u didn't go off on some weird shit, u kept it readable and wrote a gritty story. also the rhyming was there but not as much, or as good as you are capable of. i also wasn't feeling ur ending: About thirty of them were enlisted in that moment, they were seeking revenge "You are now liberated. Lace up your bootstraps! We support Poles..." but they were all barefoot, some with sandals on. their reconstructed heels required reinforced soles. the non rhyming 1st and 3rd line and the whole bar in between the we support poles and reinforced soles just came off weird. threw the whole thing outta whack, which up until that point was very smooth. was just a sudden, weird, jolting ending flow and rhythm wise.. which i didn't like dozer ur verse wasn't spectacular by any stretch but again it was really solid in a lot of aspects.. flow was really smooth, the content was pretty good and i feel like u just did what you had to do here. i like the fact that u didn't tell a story but rather used the actual boots for the meat of the verse and made it about describing them and where they have taken you and where they have been etc. i just thought your idea was more original than vulgars and u executed slightly better. this was close but woulda been WAY closer in my eyes if Vulgar didn't have those 2 weird closing bars, that to me, docked a few points. Vote: DD __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.