[Mike Wrecka]

very sick battle

pohfig - man this verse started out so strong.

A cyclone of high hopes and tight-throated gasps -
Reigning my parade of restraints leaving the sights overcast.
Internal turmoil that leaves your sides broke and black -
forcing a physical spasm that would make a blind hostess mad.
A sigh - forced and drab - no ones as passive as you, pal.
Hesitant movements prove the gap between action and morale

really feeling that. especially the opening bar. I read it and was like, wow this is a bit of a departure from his usual story driven narratives. but then you went in the second and third stanzas back to your usual style. really awesome verse, my only criticism is that it did get semi basic in some parts of the second and third stanza. when I say basic, I mean basic by your standards ofcourse. the story was interesting. cool stuff. but ya id have liked to see you stay with the style your started off this verse with.

red glare - another sick verse. your multis and complex structure is really impressive. you bounced back from last weeks verse, which I thought was your weakest so far in this league. this one was back up to that elite level.

Where ideas light up - glow degenerate - zones of censorship,
Cold fluorescent mist.
The wandering thinkers' slow stroll through sentiments.
His 7 steps through the flashes of brilliance - bulbs from the genesis.
The beautiful home of intelligence - now under my control of the red abyss.
The frontal lobe. A funneled globe. Spun below rove of the mega ships.
Heaven sent roads from the cerebellum closed for connectedness.

pretty insane stuff right there. I was recently writing a verse using black abyss as a multi and its interesting to see the different words that can connect to red abyss. anyway. ya only criticism, cause for some reason I always point out the one thing I don't like, your work right here wasn't as accessible as some of your past work. and that's a big thing to me. as far as im concerned the average reader should be able to grasp it right away. not feel a bit perplexed by the verbiage. which im a bit embarrassed to say , I was at times in this verse. I had to read some parts twice and was like ahhh. but ya , the complexity of the structure and flow you used was leaps and bounds above most. and that impresses me. good work..


vote - red glare

pohfigs got slightly too basic for me at parts, red glare had the higher level of difficulty and pulled it off well